Excieo

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lionnnWith every hurdle you’ve encountered,
How are you still tripping over stones
Weighed down by trivial bullshit
Meant to distract and torment yet
Not big enough to stop you {…}
The Universe
Heard your roar
Once
It was magnificent
How can you so easily forget
The beautiful beast within you
Look in the mirror,
Not at the smile lines
Or at those sought after imperfections
But at the enchanting soul
Behind those brown eyes
Darker than the past you hide behind
Deeper than the well you climb
Let it take over
You’ve lived amongst this noise
Thousands of years now
So remember that you already
Know how to be mighty ©

I Found Shelter In You

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We sat in front of a fountain, the excitement in the air was so thick you could taste it. You talked of music and artists while I held onto your every sentence, taking in as much of you as I could get. I pondered our different tastes…but you kept me mesmerized and wanting more. Your crystal blue eyes, so deep I could swim in them, and your perfect yet genuine smile…so alluring, I held onto your words like a life jacket, needing them to stay afloat and not drown in your intoxicating intensity. With the sun slowly disappearing into the night, it was the perfect moment for a stroll, and I wanted to go to a local restaurant a few blocks away, so we were off.

As we walked and you entertained me, as if on cue, the sky suddenly began to cry…pouring on us with such immediate force we had to run for cover. I remember laughing like a child, as we found an awning to huddle under, wondering what we were to do next. We looked to each other and decided together to run from one to the next, in search of greater shelter. I hadn’t known you long, but in these moments I found myself so comfortable and filled with adventure…in a situation that would normally prove exasperating. Instead it was exhilarating and liberating, and I found you more and more attractive by the second. Running from awning to awning, up a hill in the downpour, we noticed a car garage and swiftly resolved to stop there to collect ourselves. We sprinted and made it to the garage, wringing our clothes and attempting to tame our wet hair. Abruptly, our eyes met, and I swear volts of electricity shot through us. I pictured you storming toward me and grabbing me for the most passionate kiss of my life…but we merely stared for what seemed like hours, until we broke contact and continued to dry off what we could. Words were barely spoken. I was so stirred by you and the moment I felt like it wasn’t real. How could a man I barely knew affect me and awaken me at such a stimulating and steamy pace, with such innocence? You had my attention completely, with no intention of losing it.

As lightning is a brilliant yet fleeting phenomenon, so was our moment, and we decided to stick to our plan of visiting the restaurant, since it was closer than our cars. I used my phone’s GPS, and we headed back out into the rain. My phone kept malfunctioning from the raindrops, and was leading us in circles. I could feel the frustration building, so I caught the attention of a gentleman walking and asked where the restaurant was. He pointed us in the right direction, and since we were very close, we continued on. Finally we made it and rushed inside, out of the weather, dripping everywhere and hoping to be welcomed. We were, graciously, though you were so shy and worried about our appearance. I told you it didn’t matter, and that we shouldn’t care what people think. We sat at a table drinking water while I ordered a small salad. The entire restaurant was staring at us, and to this day I believe it was due to our chemistry and not just our sopping clothes. Our conversation was small, but on the inside I was doing cartwheels after our rainy escapade. I finished my salad and you grabbed the bill, and as we got ready to leave, a waitress asked what had happened to us. I told her how we were caught unexpectedly in the rain…and then I saw someone I knew who, overhearing the exchange, kindly offered to loan us an umbrella for our inevitable, and dreaded-until-that-very-moment, return walk. It was the owner’s, and we promised to bring it back.

Emerging back into the night, you opened the umbrella for us, and handed it to me to carry, then astonishingly, you wrapped your arm around my waist. I walked as perfectly as I could, not wanting to be freed from your grasp. I felt so warm and safe, even being drenched to the bone, but your arms were and still are so protective. I remember thinking that it was the most romantic and unsurpassable date I’d ever experienced, and jokingly wondered if I was living in a movie. I still wonder that sometimes…you’re so amazing…and you take my breath away daily.

And for the record, I’ll never return that umbrella. ©

I Surrender To You

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You walked into my life, and I’m forever changed

Enchanted by your sacred eyes,

Trembling from your tender touch,

How do you speak comfort to my deepest fears,

Without saying a word?

You give me everything I’d ever want

Melting away my reservations,

Like an ice cube in mid July

I feel as though I can stand before you,

Completely naked and unafraid;

Knowing you’ll protect and cherish my love

The intimacy we share is unmatched,

A blazing fire that could never burn out

And you hold the keys

To all of me […]

I pray you’ll always keep them near your heart ©

Home Is A Feeling

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Homesick has always been different for me

I never felt it when away from home

Home wasn’t somewhere I felt safe, or like I belonged

Throughout my life I have felt the “homesick” pangs

Often I would feel them in my own living room

Or in a family member’s home

I thought it would be a feeling I’d experience forever

And then I met you

Suddenly I no longer feel homesick when at home

The only time I feel it now…

Is when I leave your arms

The Importance Of A Bat Cave

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This morning I awoke to the telling white light shining through my window, indicating the reflection of freshly fallen snow. Hello world. And thank you for another day. How beautiful it is to look out the window to an untouched blanket of white, shining under the brilliance of the sun. Due to the weather, I was called out of work, and have been spending my time drinking strong cuban coffee and reading, stopping only to think and to write. It has been a remarkable winter, and a very educational year for me so far. I remember years ago when I lived in the wilderness for two months and almost forgot how beautiful the snow was. After spending many a night freezing beneath a tent, made with a simple blue tarp and some twine, huddled in a sleeping bag manufactured for summer weather at the mercy of wind and the direction it decided to blow, I wanted nothing to do with snow. I learned many lessons during that time, and it has given me a lot to reflect upon today. I recall one night there was a snow storm, and it was so cold that I truly believed I would lose my toes. I couldn’t even imagine making it until the next morning. After that experience, I learned alternative ways of setting up my tent and staying warm. The best way to stave off the wind and weather is to build a bat cave; a 5 point tent with a small opening at the front, and the back tied to trees very close to the ground. The only downside was the snow would build up by morning, and you would wake to a wet sleeping bag if the snow was heavy enough. I also learned to be the best bow driller in my group. I could bust a fire and blow it into flames in less than a minute. Another lesson I learned was to take a Nalgene bottle, fill it with water and place it near the fire. You could put this at your feet during the night and it would hold off the freezing temperatures for a few hours. My greatest lesson was that even though I spent  that one evening with a blizzard blowing through my tent, threatening to tear it down and making my sleeping bag so wet I thought surely I would get hypothermia, I adapted promptly and survived. I came to love the weather and bask in the glory of the daily snow falls. I have begun to apply this experience to my life, remembering that even though it can get so bad that you can’t fathom making it another day; if you become resourceful and learn to survive even the most bitter and coldest blizzards, you can survive anything. This is what I believe makes true success.

Wind Does Not Put Out Fire, It Makes It Stronger

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Fierce. Unstoppable. A force to be reckoned with. These are the words I feel describe me and my life right now, and I couldn’t feel any more blessed or honored to be living this life I call my own. What a treasure to wake up to a new day, and a new chance to get it right and make a change every single time the sun rises. How amazing is that?! It’s impossible to make a list of everything I could be thankful for, because I would never be able to stop writing. I didn’t always feel this way about my life, but for quite a while now I have felt unmistakably powerful and positive about who I am, even if I still haven’t quite figured out what to do with myself to contribute to the world. I do believe that I am headed in the direction of discovery, and I am so much more excited about the journey than the destination. I believe that I have been given an undeniable purpose, and when I am ready, I will know what that is. At this moment I truly don’t think I could be any happier, even if you were to ring my doorbell and hand me a million dollars. And you can quote me on that 😉

Mask The Fold

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Pierce my heart

Let my dreams pour out

Take them

I’m not using them anyway

My soul bleeds

For the time I’ve lost

They tell me I’ll have it all someday

Who are you to dictate my reverie

Simple minded fools

Getting in my space

I love them all

Yet I’ll die for none

My internal struggle for sanity

Has only just begun

You want to come and try

To walk to this beat?

Attach yourself to my hip

Hop along, you’ll see

To think you’ve seen hatred

I’d call you naive

Lay your head back down sweetheart

Goodnight, and sweet dreams ©