May My Transparency Grant You Intrepidity

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I love you. I think of you nearly every minute of every day, and spend the majority of my thoughts dreaming of ways I can make you happy, and bring you joy. I do not act on many of the ideas I come up with, for fear of coming on too strong or scaring you. I never imagined falling for you so quickly, or developing feelings of such magnitude…yet here I am, fully aware of the way my heart beats for you and desperately attempting to banish the fears that come along with such sentiments of intensity. My love for you is compassionate, unconditional, kind, gentle, sincere, thoughtful, nurturing, and completely vulnerable. I want to give myself to you entirely and assure you every moment that no one else will ever sway my heart or change my mind.

I should be trembling with terror at the thought of developing a love so strong and foreign with such immediacy, instead it gives me unfamiliar strength and makes me want to be a better woman. I’ve been pondering the idea of when to disclose my adoration to you, yet the usual culprits of doubt are eating away at my resolve – fear of scaring you away, fear of it being too soon, fear of not being loved in return…the key word being fear. Fear is love’s worst enemy, and it is exactly what I am diligently attempting to conquer. I ultimately have to wonder how one goes about destroying something that has been around for generations, ruling society and the way people think or do anything. How does one completely toss aside the hesitations that have been ingrained in them since birth? We are taught to love, yet life teaches us to reserve our hearts. The question is so pertinent, still I find that I am profoundly consumed with my intimate energy: bursting at the seams to be honest, and to share how I truly feel. Every book I read, every flower I admire, every child I see, every smile I receive…all remind me that love is the most important part of life, and I would be foolish to bottle my affections due to fear. 

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Still I sit and I wonder…when. Is there a proper time to let someone know you love them? Or is that merely a notion that was created to keep people unhappy, sheltering themselves from their own emotions? Whatever the answer may be, I know in my heart that I have so much love for you that I am overflowing with the desire to show you in every way I know how. I even find myself discovering new and unexplored ways to love because of the depth of my admiration for you. Perhaps instead of telling you, I will continue to show you; until I am lightly gripped with a mysterious misplacement of uncertainty… or I become courageously determined to triumph my fears. ©

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